Why is this even a question? How is your child meant to learn to apologize when you don’t do it yourself as a parent?
This is actually a really important factor in how I establish healthy, trusting relationships with kiddos at work. I am a human and therefore make mistakes, which children will catch and call me out for, because children are information sponges with no verbal filters.
When a kid says, “but miss tommy, i thought you said we’re not supposed to do that,” I answer, “You’re right. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I won’t do it again.” It could be something small, maybe a kid sees me biting my nails, or maybe I grabbed a kid by the arm who was about to collide with something solid but I grabbed too hard. Whatever it is, it’s important to
acknowledge the mistake,
apologize to the kid,
and verbalize a plan to correct it.
Not only does this model HOW to make an effective apology, but it establishes trust on many levels. The children who witness the exchange now know that:
I will be honest with them even if it does not serve my ego,
I care about their feelings,
and I am taking their needs seriously.
Apologize to your kids when you mess up! It won’t diminish your authority as their grown-up, it shows that you respect that authority!
This is one thing emotionally abusive parents are known for. Holding power over accountability and they wonder why their children don’t want to be around when they get older.
Yes. Yes so much yes.
This really goes for all adults who regularly interact with kids.
You’d be amazed how quickly an apology can help a situation with a difficult kid. How fast you can get a kid to listen to you if you acknowledge their feelings and ways you have, however intentionally or not, upset them. How much that can change their whole day to have an adult actually really talk to them like someone who matters.
Also apologizing doesn’t mean just saying sorry it means teaching them by explaining why you are sorry. If they say you did something wrong you apologize because they are right and that thing you did was wrong because etc. It helps reinforce the behaviour and also helps them see how a good apology is made!
Just because kids are little doesn’t mean they aren’t human and they need t to be treated fairly and with respect. 83
So this is why I have trouble saying sorry… I never had a good role model for it
honestly if you want to take proper care of your goths you shouldn’t take them outside in hot weather at all, just winter and MAYBE late autumn/early spring if you live in a cool climate
people really should do this kind of research before getting goths at all but as long as they’re willing to learn and adapt i guess
there are breeds of goth suitable for warmer climes but you have to be very careful when looking for one and you cannot assume that your goth is one of them if you don’t know for sure what they are
even the warm-climate breeds still usually do better in their native locale’s winter temperatures though, and shouldn’t be left outside in the summer unattended or, at the bare minimum, they should be given plentiful shade, cold water, and appropriate music to keep them calm
Honestly, if you want something less fragile than a goth, you should be considering something like a punk anyway. There’s no need to expose goths to the heat, IMHO. Admittedly there’s differences you need to do research on, but punks are very rewarding. And for God’s sake, if anyone tells you ANY emo can handle the heat, run. They don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.
goths aren’t fragile though? they’re not heat-tolerant but they’re extremely hardy in dark and stormy weather, metal concerts, and dramatic emotional episodes. just because they aren’t well-suited to one weather pattern doesn’t mean they can’t be extremely hardy and rewarding to keep under conditions they’re better suited to.
Forget the climate thing, there’s a more important husbandry issue here:
WHO THE FUCK PUT THEM OUT IN THE DAYTIME?
Direct sunlight is extremely harmful to goths! THey should never be outdoors before twilight!
Do your damn research, people.
you’re missing a key point though
goths need the opportunity to complain about sunlight, it’s vital to their wellbeing; as long as their time in it is carefully controlled and they’re given sufficient sunscreen and shade, it can be amazing and 100% necessary enrichment
Look at that picture. Look at it. Please tell me where the shade is, because I don’t see any. I see two goths wilting in direct sunlight. Just look at how flat their hair is! This is not even remotely acceptable care.
i never said the picture was a good example of goth husbandry, i think it’s sort of taken as a given that it’s not - nobody in this threat is endorsing it, op included
i’m just saying that it isn’t a black and white issue
Fair enough. I’ll concede that a properly-shaded porch or sunroom-type area can help them get the outdoor enrichment and complaining opportunities they need, without putting them at risk of direct sunlight or actually touching anything outdoors. But be careful not to overexpose them.
Aren’t there some varieties of goth that are built for sunlight, or is that me mistaking a similar species for goths?
You’re thinking of either New Romantics - unfortunately presumed extinct, you could tell them apart by their lack of Victorian plumage and occasional colouration - or Emos, which are the product of a crossbreeding with Shoegazers.
As mentioned above, emos don’t handle heat well, although they do better with moderate amounts of sun than purebred goths.
If it’s the ornate Victorian aesthetic you like but you want something that can keep up with a more active, diurnal lifestyle, you might consider a steampunk or steampunk cross? I know they’re somewhat out of fashion these days, but they can be just as endearingly dramatic as other goth breeds, and they thrive on daylight outings.
If you want want to give your goth outdoor enrichment, but don’t have an enclosure with shade, parasols are helpful. Also make sure the outdoor enrichment is appropriate! Graveyard picnics are ideal.
One last bit of advice: if the choice is between an enclosure or more closet space, goths prefer the latter.
